cancry app because i've lost control of my life

[curiositydies]

Player

Name & Pronouns: Ruka, they/them, she/her, he/him
Age: 18+
Contact Details: rukafais
Referral: I'm on superorbital's friend list!

Character

Character Name: Kel'Thuzad
Age: Probably like in his 80s at this point. He's old. Warcraft does not give timeframes for anything.
Suitability: he's a grown ass man, n/a

Canon: Warcraft 3/World of Warcraft
Canon Point: Post-Wrath of the Lich King, second death.

History: His history is kind of a mess, sorry in advance
Personality: A cool-headed, confident and calculating strategist who served as the right hand of the Scourge's monarch, Kel'Thuzad is often cruelly pragmatic. The lich is a merciless commander willing to offer no end of living sacrifices to the altar of his master, who he serves without hesitation. He is immensely powerful, intensely ruthless, and undyingly loyal, and his ice-based powers are well suited to the glacial, predatory patience he displays as he devotes his all to the conquests of the Scourge.

Or so he would like others to believe.

In truth, Kel'Thuzad is not entirely the pristine, frozen image of the logical, unfeeling advisor that he has so carefully crafted. He is still wholly capable of raw emotion, impatience, and a certain degree of dramatics, as much as he would like to pretend otherwise, and though he demands the lives and deaths of others to serve the Scourge, he has given himself the same ruthless, sacrificial treatment. No price is too high to pay for the subject of his loyalties - whether it be his own life, his own body, or the few bonds he has made, he gives it up without hesitation and the resigned understanding that it no longer belongs to him and perhaps, once he became what he is now, never did.

That's not to say he has no self-interest or self-preservation, however - much of his personality, including his desires, was left intact even with the mental manipulation that came with his servitude. But due to sheer neglect and likely in part because of that manipulation, his ability to prioritise himself over other things he views as more important - like continuously searching to expand his knowledge - is severely stunted. Working on the completion of ulterior tasks that serve to further advance a higher goal takes priority over his own wellbeing, and his intimate knowledge of how far from mortality and normal human fragility he truly is only serves to widen that chasm and further his feelings of emptiness. All this is a degree of vulnerability he prefers not to voice - after all, it's a wound that has been festering for decades, and who knows what might come out of it if he touches it too much?

Years of servitude, isolated duty, and feeling unwanted and lonely among his peers has sharpened his tongue and his honesty, and he makes no secret of when he openly disapproves of any given course of action. Whether he gives voice to it more politely or is openly scathing and mocking is dependent on how much he likes the person in question. The flipside of this is that he is entirely and surprisingly easily capable of giving honest compliments if he feels it's well deserved; the easiest way to impress him is to display skills that he values, a surprisingly wide net.

While he is certainly capable of being easy to get along with and powerfully charismatic - he was once in charge of establishing and maintaining a cult in the early days of the Scourge's preparations, which requires a great deal of people skills and manipulation - it's something he doesn't feel the need to rely on much any more, though he's still able to perform at need.

Despite all his prickly demeanor and unpleasant habits, Kel'Thuzad is not a man without any softness at all. He has an unabashed soft spot for animals and a degree of personal flexibility that may come as a surprise to those who only view the harsh exterior he presents; though he may not necessarily enjoy the company of a person, he is more than capable of working with them and identifying where he will do the most good, both in battle and in interaction. To some degree, every interaction is part of an interlocking, larger strategy, though he may not always be able to see where it leads, and so does he tell himself to practice patience - a task more taxing at some times than others.

He tends to be more forgiving of those that he finds similar to himself, or to the few people he truly cared for, though such 'forgiveness' shows itself in strange ways. Outright aggression and blunt stubbornness is likely to be met with a degree of passive guidance and odd fondness, unrestrained curiosity proudly encouraged, and arrogance met with cold amusement.

Sin:
Pride - A mage of no uncertain ability, he believes wholeheartedly and arrogantly in his own aptitude and competence. This has gotten him in trouble as much as it has served him well; his confidence in his own abilities is earned, but in some ways that only makes it worse.

Lust - Kel'Thuzad is eternally devoured by the desire to learn, and that endless curiosity has led him into dark, deep places in his search for answers and information. He'll overturn heaven and earth to obtain the knowledge he desires, even if that leads him to do terrible things.

Sloth - He tends to buckle and accept terrible situations without struggling, in the face of overwhelming power. His will to resist in the face of adversity isn't strong without anything to reinforce it; he can and has died for the will of another, with little more than a promise that he might be returned to life for his service. Made to dance at the call of another for so long, true autonomy is a distant proposition that he has long since stopped entertaining.

Executor Title: Frost.

Memoria:

1. Throne:
A memory of being forced to kneel in bitterly cold conditions. Brings back an overwhelming feeling of despair and servitude, and the memory of the name 'Lich King' and all the complicated feelings (fear, loyalty, bitterness, loss, pride) that is associated with the title.

2. Destruction:
The memory of his first death - murdered by a hammer-wielding paladin. Brings back the feeling that there was someone he was desperately fond of that he later lost, though their name is not included.

3. Renewal:
A surging, triumphant memory of resurrection; being drowned in the Sunwell's magic and taking it all to rise in a new, powerful body as a lich.

4. Heart:
The memory of holding someone's heart in his hands, encrusted with ice. An unconscious person lies before him on an altar. There is a feeling of overwhelming mourning.

5. Fortress:
A memory of waiting in a vast, gilded room. There is a feeling of impatience, or something like boredom, as if he's been waiting a long while. The sound of conflict echoes as if from far away.

6. Cat:
A simple memory of feeding a siamese cat with icy blue eyes. The cat purrs in satisfaction. There is a feeling of contentment.

7. Shore:
A memory about watching someone set sail, knowing he will never see them again. Brings back the memory of the name 'Arthas' and a faded melancholy.

8. Summoning:
A memory of channeling overwhelming, corrosive power; bringing something powerful and ancient to cross over from another world. There is a feeling of exhausted pride.

9. Release:
A memory of being destroyed, and having his soul being pulled towards the afterlife - whatever that is. There is a feeling of relief.

10. Scourging:
A memory of watching undead destroy a town, the dead rising to feed on the living. It is a scene of pure carnage. There is only a feeling of satisfaction, as with a job well done.

11. Defiance:
A memory of fighting against an undead elven woman, screaming her rage at being denied revenge. There is a feeling of frustration. Brings back the memory of the name 'Sylvanas', and feelings of both strong respect and equally strong annoyance.

12. Exile:
A memory of being stripped of his standing and title by a council of disapproving mages for the crime of practicing necromancy. There is a feeling of deep resentment.

13. Study:
A memory of reading late at night, surrounded by books. There is a feeling of utter contentment. Brings back the memory of his own name, 'Kel'Thuzad', but nothing else.

14. Ending:
A memory of feeling a magical connection shatter; calling out and receiving nothing but silence and darkness. There is a feeling of loss and emptiness.

Extra: Not quite sure what to do with human form vs lich form, since he technically has both. I'll probably have his lich form be his Executor form, and his human form be his 'normal' unpowered form, if that's okay.